The Question

You would laugh if you heard me ask
This question. Yet I will ask it
Anyway to hear that familiar
Bellow of glee from beyond.

What would force you to kill the one
You loved more than anything in
The world then kill yourself? I know
The answer to the second part.

But what of the first? How is that
Choice possible? Did you see it as
Gift? Did you free her from suffering
In one instant’s violent blast?

If so, what did it feel like in
Those seconds between her departure
And yours? Were they relief or horror?
Did you rush your exit or pause?

And if you paused, what did you see?
What did you see? What did you see
Before the flash that had to come,
Before the darkness closed on your life?